I can't ever remember being so exhausted in all my life.In the hospital, Halloween passed (my birthday), the first of November passed, and now we were nearing the middle of November. I watched the seasons change through hospital windows. When Jack was born, I arrived at the hospital in capris and flip-flops. When we were transported to PCMC, I remember noticing how beautiful the leaves on the trees in the mountains were and it was still warm outside. By the middle of November, I had watched it snow outside, heard others complain about the cold, but hadn't really experienced it myself. Occasionally, I would go outside and feel the bite of the cold weather, but it never really occurred to me that the seasons were changing, time was really passing by, and winter had officially begun.
Jack's second surgery went extremely well. His surgeon arrived to our room at midnight, the night of surgery, to check on Jack. He was so concerned and baffled as to what had happened and wanted to make sure both Jack and I were doing ok. My love and appreciation for this dear man grew each day. He became, somewhat, a surrogate grandpa or dad in a way to Jack and I. He made us feel like we were more than just his patients and truly showed and expressed how much he cared. He made it a point to visit every day.
During the following week, Devon arrived home for good and we decided it was time to give our little Jack a name and a blessing. Normally, we make a big deal of this occasion and invite friends, extended family, and so on. This time, the setting was much smaller. Jack's room was only large enough for a few selected family members to attend. We invited my parents, Devon's parents, My sister and her family, and our Bishop and his wife. Jack looked even tinier than he was as all of these giant men lifted him into their hands as they blessed him. The spirit surrounding all of us that day was emotional and uplifting. Devon gave Jack a very sweet and heartfelt blessing. Similar, but different than our other childrens blessings. This time there was no promise of marriage or fatherhood, but simple and sweet blessings and promises of health, passion for life, and the good that will come from his life as it touches others. I am so thankful that we were allowed to bless him there and the sweet experience that we shared together that day.
A day or two after surgery, our surgeon told me that we would be more cautious this time around and would do an Upper GI one week post surgery to ensure that Jack was "open." He told me that if I heard Jack "fart" that was a good sign. Yes, even distinguished surgeons use the word "fart"--that was so funny to me! On the 6th day, post surgery, I was giddy with excitement. You would have thought it was Christmas Eve and I was awaiting Christmas morning to arrive. That night, I couldn't sleep. I was too excited about the Upper GI the following morning and just knew everything was going to be "open" and ready to move things through. I prayed all night. I prayed that the Upper GI would go well in the morning and that Jack would be able to start eating, hold down his food, and be able to go home soon. I knew that once he started to eat, they would start talking about when they could send us home.
Finally, morning arrived and we rolled Jack down to the first floor for his Upper GI. Rather than drinking contrast, this time, they did an old fashioned x-ray to see if there were any air bubbles forming in his intestines. Air is a good sign. They took the pictures and rolled Jack back up to his room. Approximately, 2 minutes later, our surgeon arrived with excitement in his eyes and told me that Jack was "open!" That was the best news ever!
By this time, we were 1 days away from Thanksgiving. He looked at me and told me he was considering putting Jack "on gravity," which meant removing Jack's Anderson tube and watching to see if his intestines could handle the fluids on their own. I begged, pleaded, and convinced him to do it. He didn't want to do it for a couple more days, but I just knew that Jack would be fine. After pleading and begging, the surgeon agreed and told the nurse to pull out the tube.
Jack was still on TPN and Lipids and would remain on those until the end of his stay. The next day, the surgical team arrived and informed me that we were going to start feeding Jack. This time, we were going to start by feeding him 5cc's of gatorade (which is 1 tsp) and up that 10cc's every 10 hours. If he could handle that, then we would start feeding him breastmilk the following day.
It was Thanksgiving day, Devon had finally finished his training, my parents, my brother and his wife, and my sister and kids were all together to celebrate this marvelous day!
My family and I discussed where we should have Thanksgiving and wondered if I would be willing to take time off from the hospital and spend it at my sisters house. I told them that I didn't care about being anywhere else, I wanted to be at the hospital with Jack and if that meant eating cafeteria food--I didn't care. They understood and told me they really wanted to be with us and wanted to cook dinner and bring it to the hospital. I thought they were crazy and tried to convince them otherwise, but they had their minds set. With permission from the nurses, they allowed us to use their 4th room Conference Room to eat. My family arrived, as promised, and loaded up wagons from the first floor to carry all of their home made goods. They even came prepared with cute decorations for the table and all. Just as we were about ready to eat, the nurse told me that Jack could go too! We unhooked a few of his wires, other than his TPN and Lipids and CARRIED him to the conference room. Of course, his TPN and Lipids were attached and rolled behind us, but it was so great that he got to come and be with us. All of us were together, for the first time and it was amazing!!
It was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. The expression of love and gratitude from my family was incredible! The fact that they were willing to sacrifice their own Thanksgiving dinner and bring it to the hospital was so touching! It was so great because we were all able to sit and visit and eat without me feeling rushed to get back to the hospital to be with Jack. The kids even got to play in the playroom (which is amazing in itself) and we got to just be...I loved every minute of it! Jack even got to eat his own Thanksgiving meal...10cc's of gatorade!
It's amazing how one small little baby can bond a family together. We thought we were close before, but Jack has shown us how much we need each other and has taught us how important and precious life truly is.
Jack ate extremely well. There was no vomit and we were able to steadily increase his feeds. The goal was for him to be able to eat and hold down 20z. I thought the goal seemed extremely high and couldn't imagine Jack ever being able to eat that much. Somehow he did and the following Tuesday, after Thanksgiving, Jack was released from the hospital and sent home.
The joy and fear of being allowed to take Jack home was immense! We packed up all of our belongings and emptied out room 4320, said a few tearful goodbyes to our loving nurses, put Jack in his car seat, rode down the elevator, walked out the hospital doors, walked to the car, loaded up our things, and drove home!
