Yesterday, Taylor approached me with big, sad, watery eyes, and told me that for the last 3 or 4 recesses, her "best friend" told her she doesn't want to play with her and only wants to play with someone else.
As I listened and gave her a hug, my eyes started to well up with tears and my heart ached for my little girl.
I remember moments of feeling sad at recess, too, because my "best friend" was playing or having fun with someone else.
How do you explain to a 5-year old that moments like this will pass. Some friends are fair-weather friends and others are friends for life!
I told Taylor that it is good to not just have one best friend, but to have lots of best friends so when situations like this occur, then you have other friends to play with that make you feel good and don't make you feel sad.
Her response was, "Well, I only want to play with HER!"
So, then I told her, "Well, next time she tells you she doesn't want to play with you, you just tell her that's too bad because you are a lot of fun to play with! And then go find someone else to play with."
She thought that was a good response. So, all morning long we practiced. Devon played the part of her friend and I played Taylor. Devon would say, "Taylor, I don't want to play with you today!" Then, I would say, "Well, that's too bad because I'm a lot of fun to play with!" We practiced over and over, but all she would say for her part was, "I don't care!" We thought that was good enough.
Finally, after school, I was anxious to hear how recess went. Once in the car, I asked her, "So, did you have fun at recess today?" She said, "Well, I was standing in front of her (her best friend) while she played on the swing and she just wouldn't get off to play with me!"
All that practicing and explaining at home didn't work...she just didn't get it!
Taylor wears her heart on her sleeve. Once you are her friend, she is loyal and true and you are her friend for life! I want to put her in a bubble and protect her little heart from experiencing pain caused from others who are unkind.
I survived Elementary School, Middle School, and High School, so I know she will too! I guess I can just expect to experience a lot of tears along the way! Hopefully this is only something you experience with girls because I don't think I could handle it if the boys were this emotional too!
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12 comments:
Oh, that is so sad! When things like that happen the mama tiger in me comes out and I just want to pound the kid that hurt my kid. I hate it that life has to hurt sometimes.
Okay, I a not looking forward to elementary school (only 4 more months!) The thought of someone at school being mean to Connor makes me so sad! I want my kids to experience all sorts of things, but when it comes to their little hearts getting hurt, I just want to protect them forever!
Speaking from experience, girls and friends are a tough combination sometimes so just keep doing what you're doing. That pep talk was awesome. Sometimes girls can be very cruel, you almost want you kids to be the nice ones even if it means they will hurt. But hey, it is a part of growing up. it will make them better friends to others by knowing what not to do and say. (even though secretly I would love to give my girls friends a piece of my mind when this happens which, sadly, is often) good luck!
I had that happen to me all the time!!! I am still scarred from it, sorry to tell you. I had some mean friends I do not know why I put up with them. Tell Taylor that she isn't the only one!! XOXOXO
Your pep talk was great! I love how you and Devon are both involved. I remember when those little things happened to you and how much it hurt me. Taylor has a sweet disposition like you did and she is easily hurt by the thoughtless things her friends do. She is an amazing little girl! She'll be fine....no she'll be better than fine. Hang in there, you're doing great!!
I'm glad you practiced it. I like imagining you and Devon practicing with each other...that would have been really funny to watch.
I am right there with ya! It is so hard sending these little 5 year olds off to school, then they have one sad day and you feel like you've thrown 'em to a pack of wolves! You are such a good mom, I love how you tried so hard to help her through it!
I am SUCH a protective mom...I probably will speak my mind when I shouldn't! I was mad at my 9-year old nephew for being annoyed at Parker...and I'm pretty sure he knew it. I need to bite my tongue!
That story is just heartbreaking! You are so sweet to try to protect her like that! Not being there for them when they need us is the hardest thing about sending our little ones off to school, in my opinion!
Children's social scenes can be awful. It seems like every other year in elementary I was having some trauma with friends. Luckily we grow up and things improve (I'm being just a touch sarcastic here). No seriously, I think she will be fine. She'll figure things out. I loved having one best friend always too. Just means she is super loyal and sweet. We missed you at the party today. HOpe you are feeling better.
I'm crying for Taylor! Why do girls have to be so mean? I remember similar situations and it's hard to not want to protect her from hurt. You have a great outlook and you are an awesome mom!
It is always so much harder to go through this when it is your kids. I think girls are worse than boys. The boys just beat each other up and then they are friends the next day. You are a good Mom, keep it up.
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