It will all begin on January 15, 2008. Not only is this the day you were married, or Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, or the anniversary of the day that your husband's grandma passed away, but also the day you will receive the most life-changing phone call of your life!
Your husband will decide to take the day off work to celebrate your 8-year anniversary. After spending much of the day "hanging out" and "catching up," the husbands cell phone will ring. He will ignore the ring and pick up the voicemail later. Without realizing the magnitude of this voicemail, he delays picking it up...until a friend from work calls and tells him the message is urgent and he must listen to it at once!
Immediately, the husband will retrieve the voicemail where he will listen to a recorded message informing him, along with 3,500 other employees, that his service is no longer needed.
A gush of emotions will rush through your body and mind as you try to digest this news. You will cry, you will worry, and you will wonder why? You will have so many questions and also feel very sad, confused, frustrated, unprepared, and unable to see a clear path of what to do.
You have always been a woman of faith, and, yet, this experience will try and test your faith and testimony of prayer unlike ever before. You will often find yourself on your knees, begging, asking, and praying for comfort and enlightenment of what to do.
One day, the answer will come and you will fight it because it is not what you want to do. This answer will require much sacrifice and continued hardship, but will also bring joy, peace, and comfort.
After spending 6 years in an area that you love, a place where you have made life-long friends, delivered babies and watched them grow, while also developing many roots of your own, you will follow the instructions of that tiny little voice (in your heart and in your head), and despite your better judgment, leave it all!
You will quickly put your house up for sale. You will secretly hope it doesn't sell and pray that by some miracle you can stay. However, the house will sell quickly, but not without a struggle. In a poor housing market, you will find yourself paying $9,000 to sell your home and relieve you and your family from a short-sell or foreclosure. No matter how painful it feels, you will also feel relief knowing it sold, and in some weird way, know there was someone greater looking out for you.
You will spend weeks packing boxes, cleaning, crying, carpooling kids from house to house to be looked after, crying and cleaning, packing up the moving truck, crying some more, saying many goodbyes, crying, and then walking out the door, stepping foot into your car and heading out of state to live with your in-laws.
Your husband has decided to go back to school. You have decided that two years isn't much of a sacrifice. When you arrive, you put most of "your" things in storage and "try" to make this "new" home "feel" like home. You will long for what you miss most and, often, cry because it is so far away. Talking on the phone to friends and family, as well as blogging and emailing will bring you comfort.
You will immediately start looking for part-time work. You will do this so you can help your family financially, but also so you can socialize and make friends. You will interview for group exercise instructor positions and accept them. You will also sign up to substitute teach.
You will immediately be asked to sub a dance class and accept. On your first day, you will be extremely nervous and start to feel very sick on your way to the gym. To avoid embarrassment at the gym, you will stop at the nearest gas station and be stopped outside your car, by a stranger who is curious about your license plate. Not wanting to be rude, although you are feeling very ill, you will politely answer his question about your personalized license plate and how it came to be. After a quick explanation, you will turn to go inside, and this stranger will begin to tell you the story of his life. With only ten minutes to spare before your class starts and an upset stomach, you will begin to sweat bullets about your time schedule, but feel unable to interrupt him and tell him you need to leave. Ten minutes later...you make a quick exit out of the conversation, run in to use the restroom, and make it to the gym two minutes late. Despite the stress of getting there, the class loves you, has a great time, and it really uplifts your day!
You will spend most of your days, with your husband working, subbing classes here and there, signing up your daughter for dance, taking the kids to the park, taking the kids swimming, teaching yourself new step and dance routines, planning out new menus for the family to try, and entertaining play dates for your two older children.
You will marvel at how quickly the summer has gone by, and hope the next two years are the same. Yet, that means each child will be that much older. You want to bottle them up and keep them just the way they are right now forever. In two years, you envision your family stronger, closer, and more secure and prepared for the future. You know that if this were easy, it probably wouldn't be worth it. And, it will be worth it!
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17 comments:
It WILL all be worth it! We don't always know why things happen the way they do, but it's always comforting to know that there's a bigger picture...someone else knows why! You and Devon are such good examples to me--you are definitely fighters, so you'll make it through this rough spot with class and grace! Your kids will probably look back on this as one of the best times of their lives...you're giving them the opportunity to really get to know their grandparents and cousins. That will provide a lifetime of memories for them! I know things are tough, but just think--in a few short years, we can be next-door neighbors! Hee hee! And yes, your kids will be a bit older, but you really will be stronger, closer, and more prepared for whatever life hands you! Love you!!!!
I always find it amazing how much we can really endure when life calls for it. I admire you for doing what had to be done, and has hard as it is to live with family what would we do without them?!? Best wishes on your new adventure..
I'll wipe my tears and see if I can give an adequate response to this post. It is amazing how much you have had to endure this past several months. I know it has been hard, but I guess it's the hard times that make the good times so much sweeter. So here's to sweeter times! I love you. Hang in there!
Wow, you sure know how to get a gal to cry! I can't imagine having to go through all of that. What a trial! You are strong and brave and admirable! I think Robyn said it best...we don't always know why. Trust me on that one. But there's always a reason, even if we don't know it, or EVER know it!
You're really doing great, even if you don't think you are. Give yourself some credit girl! Your making lemonade!
Here's one of my favorite quotes about trials... Even when you fall flat on your face, at least you're still moving forward!
Somedays you just have to let the little things get you through....day by day and sometimes minute by minute!!!
Keep up the awesome work! You're amazing!
Oh, Kimberly.
We are living examples of decisions being made that drastically changed our lives. I have been there. And you know what I've learned? Somebody really does care, is mindful of your heartache, and is helping to steer you in the right direction. It may not always feel like it, but I promise it's true. You are a strong girl, and this is only going to make you stronger. Someday, you may look back and be grateful.
But probably not today. And I get that. Hang in there!
Sometimes like these is when I really questions things to and wonder why do I have to go through this. I know people always say this, but it totally happened to me, it is totally worth it and it does all work out in the end for the better.
I am really jealous of all the time your kids get to hang out with mom and how many memories they will get with her, and also Dori's kids. Family makes for great memories.
What a well written hearfelt post!
Bless your heart, I had no idea you had been through all of that! When was your last baby born, didn't you endure that as well?
It's hard letting go and giving our full trust to someone who knows more about what we need then we do. THAT IS HARD! But from reading this, I can tell you know that you made the right decision and that you have faith in knowing that this will bring you peace and joy in the end.
Hang in there. You are one smart lady and I know you can do this!
Your posts always give me the chills! You are such a good writer! Hang in there it will all come together! Love Ya!
I've had a couple of experiences in my life where it's taken a LONG time to figure out why they happened. Some stuff just sucks. It's ok to have bad days and you will get through it. I admire how you get involved right away and make huge efforts. I was just thinking yesterday how much I enjoy talking with you on the phone. I hope you will always still call me no matter where you live. I love being your friend.
"What doesn't kills us, makes us stronger" I know that you wiil come away stronger, happier and closer as a family, JUST HANG ON!!
Kimberly, the road seems long and hard but it will be worth it because stuff doesn't happen to us randomly. I am so very grateful that you know who you are and you are going forward with your life. This is a really strong test and I know how your are going to do because of your faith. Love you so very much and as darcie said JUST HANG ON!!
We're made of some tough stuff in this family. I know how it feels to feel like your getting pounded with new trial every single day. And some days you just think - gosh could you try to "strengthen" someone else for a while and let me deal with what I already have. But in the end it doesn't really relent - we just get strong enough to deal with it. I remember a fireside talk I heard a really long time ago. And I couldn't tell you who spoke but she said that when Christ tells us to lay our burdens upon him he's not saying he'll take them away. Just that he will make us strong enough to bear them. Your a trooper - keep thinking positively and before you know it you'll be in a different place and you'll see the growth! I love ya, be happy:) and kiss your babies they grow way too fast!
It turned out great even without me proofing it. Just kidding. I'm glad you have got so much direction without knowing exactly where you'll end up. You and Devon are an inspiration to us... And, if you and Robyn end up close together, that's just one more reason for me to stick around close to you guys.
You guys have been through a lot in such a short time. I can understand a lot of what you went/ are going through. I have to say, better that you moved in the summer than the dead of winter. That was really hard when not a soul ventured outside. Talk about feeling isolated. I'm really proud of you for getting part time jobs (I bet the kids adore you) and really for everything. You are such an inspiration and an incredible writer. It's so interesting that so often we know what Heavenly Father wants for us and we don't neccesarily see why we need to go that route, but that's what I love so much about being a parent. It helps us in such small stages and levels begin to understand how our Father must feel as our parent. He must want to strangle me a lot. J/k! He guides us and knows what's best for us and then hopes we follow the spirit. I am so glad that you made that hard decision. You guys will be so blessed by your sacrifices. Love ya!
You and your sweet family have been through so much in this last little while and I am sure it feels like an eternity to you. I know you probably don't want to hear it but it really does make you stronger and closer and more appreciative of what is really important in life. You will get through all of this one step at a time and it will be worth it.
What a good post. Your strength helps give me strength to get through the twists & turns in my own life that inevitably (spelling?) come to all of us. I will keep you guys in my prayers!
You jump right into life wherever you are! You are such a strong person. I know you are doing the best thing for your family but that you are still missed here!
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